Interdependence

Make a deal with yourself to never let people's comments control your mood. 

I've got some bad news. Most people are more concerned about acting according to how they feel than feeling according to how they act. 

We will act according to what we believe even if it's a flat out lie. 

Practice taking actions and letting your feelings follow, rather than allowing your actions to be dictated by your feelings. 

So last week I was reflecting back on the experience I had when I was sick with the swine flu. I had anticipated going to Brasil for many years, and was thoroughly enjoying my time in the Amazon jungle when I fell ill and had to separate myself from the crowd. It was the tail end of our trip, and I had seen things most people never see. Pink dolphins flipping in the black river, children who saw a photo of themselves and their friends for the first time, even children who were bed ridden with illness and yet didn't know any different. Their simple dependency on a great God was the example I followed while going through the worst of the swine flu. 

One of my favorite things to do is make children laugh, and in Brasil it was not hard... Every time I tried to mix the Spanish I knew with the few Portuguese words I had learned, they would crack up. Celebrating differences looks a whole lot like letting your pride go for the sake of relationship. And there, through their laughter, it hit me. Carrying people's rejection inside of you will make you sick. 

Those who seek to be worth knowing rather than well known have seen this play out in their lives. Something messy and authentic happens when you are less concerned with people liking you and far more concerned with doing the right thing by the person in front of you. 

Comfort zones are way overrated. You can be right or you can do right. 

There is something that children have, something precious and freeing, maybe it's their ability to acknowledge their own need for interdependence rather than fighting for imaginary independence. Somewhere along the lines though, we all try to "be adults" and in our quest for control we all fool ourselves of our need for community. 

"People are tenacious when it comes to their imaginary independence. They hoard and hold their sickness with a firm grip and find their identity and worth in their brokenness, and guard it with every ounce of strength they have. No wonder grace has such little attraction." -William Paul Young (The Shack)

"Man is weak but the Spirit yearns to keep the course from the bow to the stern, to throw overboard every selfish concern that tries to work for what can't be earned." -Josh Garrels (Beyond The Blue)

Click here for the song.